so, how does a kid from suburbia end up on a ranch?
it’s a long one, but if you’d like to hear it,
here’s the story.
i grew up in a suburb of denver.
And I had what a I like to call a “Patagonia Ad” of a Colorado childhood. We loved spending time in the mountains doing Colorado stuff–hiking, fishing, camping–and we’d often go visit my godmother who lived near Aspen. She had a neighbor who was a rancher, and we’d go to his ranch sometimes so the horse-crazy little girl (it’s-a me!) could ride horses. That was pretty much my only exposure to agriculture and let’s get real, I don’t even think I noticed the cows.
Fast-forward a few years, to cu boulder.
I was a Junior Environmental Studies student (hippie degree, hippie school) and an overachiever looking for an honor’s thesis topic because of course I was. I was working for the Business Research Division at the time, and we were doing an economic impact survey of the National Western Stock Show on Denver and the surrounding areas. While I was there harassing people with a clipboard to take my survey, I was, of course, assaulted by the delicious horse-y smell that’s all over Stock Show, and thought to myself “Hmm. I wonder if there’s a way I could do a thesis that would let me be around horses again.”
(Once a horse girl, always a horse girl.)
In my older, and infinitely wiser, state, in my mind, horses went with cows, and cows and horses went with ranching, so I thought I might write my thesis about ranching and sustainability. I took the idea to my thesis advisor who said, “OMG, yes, love this idea! So you have some experience with ranching?”
To which I replied, “Well, no.”
So, she recommended that I get in touch with someone from Colorado State to help me since CU doesn’t have an ag program, so I cold-emailed the entire beef production department (maybe the entire Animal Sciences department?) and got a response back from precisely two professors, one of whom invited me up to Fort Collins to chat because, in his words, “It’s not every day I get an email from Boulder.”
I went on up to meet Dr. Ahola, and we talked about my paper. At that time, sustainability was a relatively new field, so what we ended up settling on was a study about the relationship between environmentalists and ranchers, and the conflicts that exist even though the two groups often have similar goals: to protect wild lands from development, and to keep our natural spaces natural.
And we decided I had better, like, experience some cows.
Because, again, zero cow experience.
He invited me to ARDEC, the college’s research farm, to see some cows, learn about…things, and just get a general intro to the beef industry. As it happened, the day I was visiting was also one of the days they were breeding cows, and Dr. Ahola, being the hands-on guy that he is, told me to grab a glove.
If you’ve ever AI-ed cows before, you know what’s next.
I, however, did not. He hauled me over to a young man (with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen, coincidentally) and said “Bert will show you how.”
And, ladies and gentlemen, the first words my future husband ever spoke to me were
“You’re going to want more lube.”
To be fair, he was right, but after experiencing my first gallon pump-top jug of lube and a really cute boy saying things like “Yeah, that’s probably the cervix,” I was mortified. But also not deterred.
Cow Introduction Phase 1 complete, Dr. Ahola and I decided I needed some more hands-on experience and I did what every good Millennial college student would do when confronted with a problem and…called my mom.
Who happened to be a landman at the time, which worked out swimmingly because lots of her clients were ranchers. She called ’em up, said, “Hey, can my daughter who has never lived a mile away from a Starbucks in her entire life come and live with you for a few weeks?”
And, shockingly, one of them said yes. So, I moved to North Park, Colorado, for three weeks to learn more about ranching, interview ranchers, and generally follow people around.
As it turned out, I loved it. I ended up staying the entire summer. They taught me how to drive a tractor so I could help put up hay, how to fix fence and drive stick, and yes, I got to ride horses a lot.
Bonus? Dr. Ahola let me know that Blue-Eyed Lube Guy happened to be working just a few miles down the road which was truly a miracle given that there were literally 40 people in the entire town.
(His name is Bert, by the way. I don’t actually call him Lube Guy.)
And that’s all she wrote. I decided ranching was the life for me. After graduating that December, I came back to work for the ranch full-time, Bert did too, and we got engaged the following fall, moved to Montana to work for a big Angus producer, and here we are.
And here we are.
Bert and I got married in September of 2012, and have worked for several large ranches in three different states. We’ve done everything from registered seedstock cattle to American Wagyu to GAP-approved cattle to plain old commercial cows. Lots of different production sytles, different kinds of cattle, and experiences.
We have three blue-eyed boys, Wacey, Buster, and Kirby, and now live on a large high-altitude ranch that Bert manages in Southwestern Colorado. I day work for the ranch and consult and speak and generally keep the wheels on and the snacks packed.
I use my unusual background (and bad jokes) to help people and organizations deeply understand all the nuances of the beef industry, communicate better with ranchers, and design products that ranchers actually want.
If you made it all the way to here, I feel like I should give you a gold star! Thank you, and I’m excited to work with you.
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